oHOTmu or NOT Ep.50: Human Torch to Hydro-Man

Not quite the original flaming hero. The org people like to whisper about. Stingray’s home base. A villain that was practically in the last Spider-Man movie. Which are hot and which are not? The Girls collectively known as the Canadian Hot Squad make that determination. It’s our 50th episode and we finally made it to issue 6!

Featuring permanent panelists Elyse, Isabel, Nathalie, Josée, Amélie and Shotgun.

Listen to Episode 50 below (the usual mature language warnings apply), or subscribe to oHOTmu OR NOT? on iTunes!

Relevant images and further credits at: oHOTmu or NOT ep.50 Supplemental

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14 responses to “oHOTmu or NOT Ep.50: Human Torch to Hydro-Man

  1. Thank God for the Hot Squad. I needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks girls…and Siskoid.

    Again, the girls make me rethink my comic trained-brain. I never thought the Human Torch looked “skinned”, probably because I saw him before I ever saw a drawing of the a human’s internal musculature. But now I can’t unsee it. I do remember thinking Spider-Man’s figures looked like grilled hot dogs…

    Hydra isn’t too stylish, for sure, but remember A.I.M. and their beekeeper suits? I think Hydra is a bit more intimidating. The movies have done more with Hydra than the comics ever could really.

    The mer-people discussion on Hydrobase was hilarious. You just never know what’s going to set the girls off, and get Siskoid all frustrated at them. I think it was on Hydrobase, after it became Avengers Island, that Captain America first lifted and used Mljonir in the comics, hence the scene in Endgame.

    I remember Hydro-Man being cast as Mary Jane’s stalker on the 90s Spider-Man cartoon. It was kind of surprising how far they went with that, honestly. So you can add “perv” to his personality if you count that in your head canon.

    Great show as always ladies and gent!

  2. Hmmm….the girls mentioned Madame Hydra but then said a Nazi would never get a hot. I guess we’ll see when the girls get to Viper in a few years. I’ve always struggled with how good Madame Hydra looked in the Steranko Captain America issues. I didn’t want to like her, but teenage me (as I was when I got a hardcover reprint of those issues) had to begrudgingly find her both disgusting and attractive at the same time.

      1. I think all we comics nerds probably have super-villainess syndrome. If I can go DC for a moment, Hey, Poison Ivy’s kiss might kill me, but, dagnnabit what a fun way to go!

  3. From Fire to Water … such cosmic serendipity.

    I am always thankful for this show as it does open my eyes to new perspectives on these characters. Often in the most hilarious way possible.

    Hydra – it says everything you need to know about my adolescent self-doubt when I said to myself ‘if I ever went evil and joined a weird group, I think it would be AIM. Hydra’s look is too cool. They’d turn me down.’ I wonder if the tunic sort of look is to provide deep pockets for hand to hand weapons.

    Hydro Man – I have to admit that I never thought of the ‘could he turn his sperm to water and therefore not accidentally impregnate someone, were he to be having unprotected sex with someone and lose control’. It seems like such a specific sequence of events …

    Like Sandman, he is often defeated by being separated, dispersed, transformed (glass for sandman, steam for hydroman). As such, he never seems like a valid threat. I always thought he would work best as an assassin. Someone is sleeping, he enters their lungs, drowns them, then leaves. Why do such loud and garish things as robbing banks.

    As for Baroness Syndrome, I think every adolescent comic guy falls for a ‘bad girl’ character at some point.

  4. Hey! Stingray got a shout-out in your Hydrobase discussion. Excellent! That should help tide me over until you reach the Ss. Actually, I first encountered the cartilaginous crusader when he helped the Avengers defend Hydrobase from a team of robot villains in Avengers #289 and 290. So, Hydrobase holds a special place in my heart, beyond the inherent coolness of it being a mobile island research lab.

    Thank you all for another irreverent and laugh-filled episode.

  5. Human Torch: This haircut is textbook “what was I thinking” for the 80s. That’s not even the most egregious shot of that ‘do. Yee-uck!
    I always want to file him under “T”, but I’ll be 97 when the show reaches those entries, so, hooray?

    So collectors that want a complete run of HYDRA appearances have to pick up Team America. And Corporate HYDRA to boot! Now I know who controls the telemarketing industry! Row after row of cubicles with phone scammers, and after every successful call, “Hail HYDRA. Time for a Starbucks break.”

    How the Hydro-Base entry turned into a discussion on merpeople is why I enjoy this show. Did any of you ever watch Futurama, especially the episode where Fry almost marries a mermaid? The honeymoon night does NOT go well.
    Poor exasperated Siskoid.

    Hydro-Man: Oh those questions. Hilarious. The first comic I read featuring him was his fight with Sandman for the love of a woman. Amazingly, the woman was depicted as plus-size and not a supermodel, remarkably body positive for the early 80s. But during the fight, the villains merge into a single monster, leading to a “King Kong” homage. And the questions from this episode make that even ICKIER than it already was!

    Thanks for the laughs, hot squad!

  6. Congrats on 50th episode! The team made me laugh at their great insights, as always.

    Human Torch – I’m like everyone else; I didn’t ever picture those lines as skinned muscle. As a kid, I always thought it was like BBQ grill marks, so therefore, fire. Made sense to me then but now that I type it out, seems ridiculous.

    Hydro-Base – I have no experience with this entry so everything the ladies said is now canon for me. Mormon mermen no more with sea lion turtles. I would read that issue of Avengers.

    Hydro-Man – The first time I encountered this wet blanket ( I made a pun! ), I immediately thought that the Spider-Man comics were ripping themselves off. Almost like they were a different publisher trying copy the “popularity” of Sandman. It felt really lazy to me and I was a dumb kid! But after the discussion, I would read a romance comic starring Hydro-Man and all that would entail. Floating sack of sperm is pretty much every man everywhere.
    Keep up the great work!

    P.S. – I will have to dig through my mom’s photo albums to find evidence of my Hobgoblin costume, but if I find it, I will post it.

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