Gimme That Star Trek Ep.34: To Beard or Not to Beard

Siskoid can't really grow a beard. Radio vs. the Martians' Casey Doran most definitely can, and has. Perhaps that's why he's eminently qualified to discuss beards in the Star Trek universe. Who has them? What do they mean? Did Riker only become cool after the beard? What about Ben Sisko? We split hairs in this one, folks!

Listen to Episode 34 below!

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"Star Trek Theme" by Alexander Courage, with the Irredeemable Shagg on vocals. End theme: "Deep Space Nine Theme" by Dennis McCarthy.

Bonus clips from: Star Trek The Next Generation's "The Quality of Life", starring Michael Dorn, LeVar Burton, Jonathan Frakes, and Gates MacFadden; and "The Schizoid Man", starring Brent Spiner; Star Trek Deep Space Nine's "Explorers", starring Cirroc Lofton and Avery Brooks.

And thanks for leaving a comment!

10 responses to “Gimme That Star Trek Ep.34: To Beard or Not to Beard

  1. Fun show, and a very interesting and unexpected topic!

    Riker needed that beard because Frakes kind of has a baby face. It totally made him look/seem more badass and roguish. It also made him seem less Kirk-like, even though he was still pretty Kirk-like, if much less intense.

    When Sisko went to the bald, goateed look, I thought Avery Brooks was just channeling his previous Hawk character. But hey, it worked. He looks better that way, so why not?

    Also, one other bald guy with beard who came to mind was Galt, the keeper of the Thralls in the Gamesters of Triskellion. His look and outfit looked very much like Ming the Merciless!!!

    If the analogy for beards showing maturity in the series held completely across the board, then someone should have had a beard in Star Trek Beyond. That was the “mature” version of that series, fully developed into actual Star Trek.


  2. I was ready to launch into a rant about how the lack of beards in Star Trek is evidence that the Federation (or at least Star Fleet) is secretly controlled by the men’s shaving product industry. Then, I realized that the existence of replicator technology probably means that there no longer is a men’s shaving product industry.

    Therefore, my new theory is that the lack of human male facial hair is a result of the Eugenics Wars. Perhaps, the Augments, believing beards to be symbolic of humanity’s primitive nature, released an anti-beard bomb into Earth’s atmosphere, which altered human DNA, crippling the ability of most human males to grow beards for centuries to follow. In which case, Riker and Sisko represent the minority of human males, who retained the ability to produce facial hair.

    Thanks for another entertaining episode.

  3. Although I don’t know you personally, Siskoid, I feel confident that you could grow a beard if you were to put your mind to it. Just remember that where there’s a Will, there’s a Riker.

  4. Some women can grow beards, but more so, men can wear makeup. Sometimes, TNG is very of its time. The miniskirt promised more than it could deliver.

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