SUPERMAN II MOVIE MINUTE #23 – How To Spot A Poisonous Snake
Fire and Water Network All-Stars Chris Franklin and Rob Kelly bring you SUPERMAN II MOVIE MINUTE, where they analyze, scrutinize, and you’ll-believe-a-man-can-fly-ize the classic 1980 film starring Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, and Terence Stamp, five minutes at a time!
In minutes 11000 – 11500, Superman makes a mistake in trusting Lex Luthor. Or does he?
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No amount of money will gat you to do Superman 4 movie minute? I admire your integrity Rob. (Or is it your unfathomable hatred for Superman 4 I admire…)
Anyhow, I picture Non exiting the chamber wearing a horizontal striped shirt, short pants, and a helicopter beanie while carrying an oversized lollipop.
As a kid so always figured Superman licked Luthor up in the fortress and then flew aloud back to Metropolis. He then returned to the fortress, retrieved the unconscious Phantom Zone villains and returned them to The Phantom Zone using the fortress’s technology. He then returned Luthor to prison.
I think I came up with that due to The Super-Friends cartoon. As a kid,!for some reason I believed the cartoon and Superman movies existed in the same universe
Well, the cartoon did key off some elements of the films at various times. If only Christopher Reeve had the Supermobile!!!
Superman might not have been sure his plan would work, so it was prudent to act defeated until he could test his power against Zod. However, didn’t Lois suspect from Superman’s uniform remaining intact this time that Superman was up to something?
For this movie, my head-canon fits in a mid-credit scene, because mid-credit scenes. We see Luthor and Otis back in their prison cell, this time with Zod and Non as their new cellmates. Non has appropriated Lex’s hairpiece for himself. Otis is getting the expected amount of cooperation from the other three in a round of “Row, Row, Row Row Row Your Boat” that he’s trying to start up.
But that’s not all — the credits finish up and a post-credit scene follows. In a WOMEN’S prison, Eve Teschmacher and Ursa are likewise sharing a cell, but unlike the boys, these two have quickly seen fit to make friendly — so a caper they’re going to pull off together is already in the planning stages, not unlike a certain Harley and Ivy.
I love that Doug! Of course Eve is Harley, the somewhat good-hearted, but ultimately dim-witted punching bag of a sociopath she’s in love with. Whereas Ursa is a ball-busting man-hater like Ivy.
Chris
I second the love for this, and have officially added to my “head canon” cut of this movie! Take that, “Man of Steel!”
“Chris, you poisonous snake!”
“Okay, we should end this on a high note,” says Rob, having just ended it on a high note 🙂
Excellent episode! The joy caused by hand bones being crushed was appropriate and palpable!
Ever since I was a kid, I figured that the Zoners went back into the Phantom Zone. Just like Superman set-up all of the other traps, and rewired the crystal chamber, he also opened a portal to the Phantom Zone that the criminals could then be knocked through. He didn’t know what would work, so he covered all of his bases, since they could have been sent back fully powered and the problem would still be solved.
Can’t express how much I’ve enjoyed this commentary…I guess you guys aren’t able to talk about the extended TV cut of the film like you did with Superman: The Movie? I think it actually makes a better “alternate cut” than the Donner Cut. The editor who put together the Donner Cut, Michael Thau, put the scissor to too many scenes in my opinion, or used alternate takes just to be different. There’s also a lot of ADR using vocal impersonators for Chris, Margot, Terry, etc. which is really jarring.
The extended TV cut is my favorite version of the movie. It explains a lot of the weird bits you guys have noticed – like Non pointing at Lex for no reason, Zod’s odd response to “I’m not a coward, Zod” and, of course, the fate of Lex and the Zod Squad. There’s also Lois and Clark’s emotional goodbye and the destruction of the Fortress. I believe a lot of this Donner footage was cut because Lester had to shoot a certain percentage so he could get the director’s credit (Jake Rossen’s excellent book ‘Superman Vs. Hollywood’ goes into all this stuff.)
Having said this, the extended TV cut has unused Lester footage that is just totally bizarre. None of it has anything to do with the film’s narrative. I guess it was meant to be funny, but it isn’t – like the wacky hijinks of Japanese tourists at Niagara Falls (why??) or a little girl and her father watching Zod and crew tear up Houston on TV (“There is too much violence on television!” “Shut up, Dad!”)
They would emerge from the molecule chamber as a single horrific screaming monstrosity with three heads and twelve limbs, but nicely dressed in casualwear.
After listening to your discussion of Zod’s ironclad legally binding demands, I’m now in love with the idea that Zod is actually a frustrated lawyer. I can picture young Zod trying to convince his father to let him go to law school, but his father insists that he uphold family tradition by entering the military. Oh, what pain and suffering could have been avoided if Zod Sr. had been a little more understanding.
Thanks for another superb episode, gentlemen.
Well, how did Luthor leave the Fortress in the first reel?
Maybe General Zod was part of the Krypton equivalent of JAG?
I found it curious that Chris had not previously noted Superman’s nod to Lex after the defeat of the Zoners. That’s on of the moments I clearly recall, and I haven’t seen this film since the 1980s!
Snakes are not poisonous. Some snakes are venomous. If you bite it and you get sick, that’s poison. If it bites you and you get sick, that’s venom. Please, do not bite snakes. And get your Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge before they become poisonous!
Now all I’m thinking is “Terry, you poisonous turkey!” Thanks for that. 😉
Ok, here’s one of my typical off-the-wall thoughts. In Superman The Movie, the Kryptonians are plummeting into crevices during the Krypton-quakes before the planet explodes. Here, the Zoners all fall into crevices after losing their powers and are defeated. Coincidence? Or a thematic parallel?
First the delightful “bwoop” sound for the disappear-reappear trick, now the cringe-worthy hand crunch. The sound FX team did excellent work. Kudos!