M*A*S*HCast - Season 5, Episode 15: 38 Across
Special Guest Star: Seth Jonas
Air Date: January 11, 1977
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I absolutely love, love, love M*A*S*H, so understand, when I make my next statement it is not a criticism of the show or the writers – but – it’s always bothered me that we never heard what the Down clue(s) were that share the squares with 38 Across.
We know that they have the V in the first space, but they never mention any of the other letters, so at most we could have had 4 Down clues, and at least – 1 Down clue.
Believe you me, I’ve ‘solved’ many a crossword puzzle, not by knowing all of the words – but by filling in all of those other letters from the clues going in the opposite direction.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched this episode of MASH, and it finally hit me that the title “38 Across” is probably a reference to the 38th parallel. You learn something new everyday.
Also, “this too shall pass” is one of my favorite Potterisms. I was recently trying to remember which episode it came from, without success. Thank you for answering that question for me.
Thanks for another remarkable episode.
Great show, with great camaraderie between the two of you. Loved all the stories Seth shared with us!
A couple random thoughts….
Regarding the scene where Radar asks BJ and Hawkeye to be his antenna…..the human body DOES conduct electricity, or radio waves, or something. I used to have an old antenna TV and an old antenna radio. Both had better quality if I was actually standing next to them touching the antennas. How well I remember the times I would tune the radio to get a good station and then as soon as I walked back to my desk to read or draw, the signal went out because I wasn’t touching the antenna. Surely I’m not the only person here who can attest to this phenomenon?
As for crosswords, especially NY Times crosswords, although I was not a fan my mother definitely was. She often said that sometimes the puzzles were specifically “New Yorkish”, meaning that some of the clues were targeted to native New Yorkers. I always imagined that “vantz” was an extreme example of this.
Although I liked Dick O’Neil and Oliver Clark here, and believe their characterizations, I absolutely hate Clark when he returns as the other Ben Pierce. I didn’t like that characterization AT ALL. I
Lastly, as someone who lived abroad, I find it funny that we never saw the people at the 4077th requesting some of their more popular hobbies from their loved ones in the States. Obviously, crossword puzzles would have been a big hit. I can’t believe that BJ didn’t write back home and ask Peg to send them all a few weeks’ worth of crosswords. Likewise, when a mystery novel was passed along the staff in another episode, I can’t believe no one asked somebody back home to send a care package of best sellers. These things might not have made up a whole episode, but it would have been nice to see a mention or two, or a cute sub-plot. It would have shown that the people at the 4077th were getting better at passing their time.
Yes! I had similar antenna experiences, Russell. As I think a non-carbon-based life form said on Star Trek: TOS, we humans are “bags of mostly water.” Few things conduct as well as “mostly water.”
Nowadays (and maybe back then) bases in a combat zone usually have reading material or puzzle books lying around — at least the bigger bases. That’s all thanks to the organizations like the USO and Support Our Troops, the chapel service, and charitably minded citizens and service members. I didn’t pick up any puzzle books, because I’m one of those irritating people who’s usually more interested in someone else’s puzzle than in getting one of my own. However, I did read Lost Horizon, The Maltese Falcon, Kite Runner, and Jitterbug Perfume while deployed because they were on the communal bookshelves. That last one is basically proto-chick lit with lots of magical realism thrown in. In my defense, it had a back cover blurb by Scarlet Johansen, and somehow that made it seem more interesting while I was deployed. Oh , and I apologize if I’ve mentioned this before, but I picked up Louis L’amour’s Hondo on a little speck of a forward operating base known as FOB Parmakan. I read it while staying in a walk-in shipping container that I had to share with the camp cat.
“38 Across” is an episode I tend to skip, actually, it just isn’t for me. But I really enjoyed listening to you talking about it!
I do like the scene in the beginning with the “sweater with the zipper down the back”-story, it’s charming. And Frank with his little bb-puzzle is fun to watch.
Speaking of Frank, I really agree with you regarding where they took his character.
The childlike cartoon of a bad guy is too much, and I can truly understand why Larry Linville wanted out, there was nowhere for the character to go, and playing someone who is constantly the worst, with no nuances to him, must be tiring.
For a character to work for me I want to see strengths and weaknesses, dreams and yearnings. And a vulnerability. Frank isn’t happy when Margaret gets engaged, but honestly – he had so many chances if he wanted their relationship to go anywhere, and there was never a question in my mind if he would ever leave “mommy” :).
I really wish the writers would have given us more layers of Frank, not just the tiny bits of a more complex person that we get, they are too few and too far apart.
I loved hearing the stories about meeting the cast! I hope to have a story like that of my own one day. Highly unlikely, though, since I live in Sweden… But maybe one of the cast members will feel a burning desire to see the lovely, tall Swedish scenery one day, and decide to come here for a vacation. And I will casually come strolling down the street, say hi, and we will be best friends. Oh yes, that will absolutely happen! 🙂
Thanks for a great episode, I really love this podcast!
Wow, I just realized that this episode explains a pun I encountered in one of Harvey Kurtzman’s humor magazines! For many years, I’ve owned both issues of Kurtzman’s short-lived magazine “Trump” from 1957 (no connection to the public figure who came along later). In the first issue, there’s a story titled “Walt Dinsey’s [sic] Hansel and Gretel” by Ed Fisher & Wallace Wood, spoofing the liberties that Disney took with classic fairy tales. In this version, Hansel and Gretel are given a talking insect companion (parodying Jiminy Cricket) called “Philo Vontz, pet bed louse.” Now, I knew that that was a spoof of the fictional detective Philo Vance, but I didn’t realize until now that “Vontz” actually meant “bedbug,” giving the name an additional layer of wordplay. (Of course, Yiddish wordplay was a trademark of Kurtzman and his collaborators going back to the first issues of Mad.)
(Incidentally, I got my copy of Trump #1 signed by Russ Heath at a convention many years ago…not relevant to the “Vontz” reference, but I can’t pass up the opportunity to mention it.)
I am still reeling from the revelation that ball-bearing maze games are no longer a thing.
RIP
Great podcast episode, Rob and Seth (and great stories, Seth!). I had a couple more comments that weren’t just responses to Corporal Captain Burbage’s.
First, this now feels like one of the most realistic episodes to me. I would categorize the plot as unlikely, but plausible — the misunderstood message to an old buddy and the resulting unexpected visit by two naval officers. In real life, when you’re stuck on a ship or a camp, almost any excuse to go somewhere else will do. I think we can all relate to that now, due to the pandemic. But I’ve seen Jack Kirby quoted as saying you can have any bizarre thing happen in your story as long as people react appropriately. The writers, cast and crew of this episode made every character believable, but especially the Admiral. Dick O’Neill made him so natural and real that he reminded me of people I’ve met.
The propaganda accusation against Hawkeye was another interesting note of realism. Service members tend not to take unsupported accusations like that from the enemy too seriously. When the U.S. Department of State added Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps to its list of foreign terrorist organizations, Iran’s parliament retaliated with a similar designation against U.S. Central Command. I would bet some Central Command personnel wanted it put on the sign at the Visitors Center, like it was a Michelin Star.
Looking forward to next week!
As I have said before, MASH was a staple in my household, watched by the entire family. Many phrases from the show are in my family’s lexicon. And ‘vontz’ is one of them.
I can’t tell you how many times one of my brothers has looked at me and said ‘You called me all the way down here for VONTZ?” To which I will responded ‘vontz!’
This is a great episode. I totally laugh throughout. I especially love the Shapiro bit.
Now I am a big crossword guy and do routinely get words across from the ‘down clues’ as mentioned above. So what other letters did they have?
Anyways, great episode with great hosts! Thanks for this review.
I agree this seemed like a script they found in a box from the first three seasons. BJ’s line about always in trouble sounded more like something Trapper would say.
The dirty BB puzzle doesn’t sound very Frank–like, more of a Hawkeye thing. A rare time he was “one of the guys”. I agree Frank declining into a total cartoon may have prompted Linville’s exit.
The Jefferson’s episode you saw was part of a spin-off where Florence got a job at a fancy hotel and he was the manager. Only lasted four episodes and she got her old job back.
Never been a big crossword guy. But a fun episode to hear.
I loved all of the actors that appeared in MASH and St. Elsewhere. St. Elsewhere was one of my favorite shows growing up. Seeing people like Oliver Clark here and then as an amnesia patient on the medical drama was great. Then, there’s GW Bailey that played Rizzo on MASH and his complete opposite mentality character on St Elsewhere.
I completely agree with you that this feels like a Hawkeye/Trapper episode. Much like “The Korean Surgeon” from earlier in this season, I have a suspicion that at least the basic premise, if not an early draft of a full script, has its origins from the period of the first three seasons, and for whatever reasons, they weren’t used until now.